What ‘A Seat At The Table’ Taught Me

I just bought Solange’s new album, ‘A Seat at the Table’ and my God, this woman is an underrated artistic genius. I haven’t been this inspired by an album since Kanye West’s ‘Late Registration’.

What I love most about Solange is that she’s herself. She doesn’t try to fit in and she’s not who everyone expects her to be. The fact that she was able to get out from under her older sister’s shadow and create her own lane is incredibly inspiring.

While listening to her album, I got this surge of confidence to be unapologetically me. I’ve spent my entire life trying to fit in and feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. Maybe I don’t belong because it’s a lane that I have yet to create.

I have a habit of revealing only parts of myself out of fear that people will misunderstand me and not accept me for who I am. But the problem with that is, people try and piece together parts of who I am in a way that makes sense to them but it’s not who I am at all.

I hate being misunderstood and its my fault because I never give anyone a chance to actually understand me.

I realize that the reason why I’m so uncomfortable opening up to people is because I’m uncomfortable with myself.

I’m uncomfortable with my progress in life, I’m uncomfortable with my love life (or lack there of), I’m uncomfortable with my finances, and at times, I’m uncomfortable with my physical appearance.

I was laying in my bed one night having a conversation with God and explained to Him the woman I wanted to be.

I told Him that I wanted to be confident from the inside out, to be effortlessly sexy and chic, to live out my dreams and be incredibly successful at it. I told him that I wanted to be the woman that commanded attention whenever she walked into a room.

I wanted to be everything I felt I wasn’t.

And God’s response to me was that I was all of those things already and that I’m the only one who can’t see it yet.

It’s possible to dim your own light. I’ve been dimming mine for years.

I feel like the more try I hide, the more the real me seeps through the cracks and she’s the person I aspired to be all along.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, its gradual.  I’m making a conscious effort to be more comfortable with who I am and letting my light shine.

Who knows, maybe I’ll inspire millions of people one day.

Thank you Solange.

Xo,

Shiloh

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