“Don’t let romantic love be the only kind of love you crave for.”
As the leaves fall and the weather gets cooler, it can only mean one thing, cuffing season is approaching. For those who don’t know what cuffing season is, its when everyone scrambles to find a significant other to cuddle up with during the colder months.
Much like Valentine’s day, cuffing season will leave you desiring romantic love if you’re not already in a relationship. Undesired and loneliness are feelings that are often exaggerated and with the help of social media, it can seem like everyone is in love except for you.
The culmination of all of these feelings will leave you asking yourself one question: “Why doesn’t anyone want me?”
I’ve never been in a real relationship, I’ve never been in love, and no one has ever been in love with me. And that left me feeling like I was undesirable and I had somehow convinced myself that I wasn’t loved.
I felt like I was missing something.
Over the years I’ve watched my peers fall in and out of love and here I was, the only one who hadn’t experienced what r&B singers described to be the best feeling in the world.
I felt like a loser.
So, when cuffing season came around, my negative feelings would be amplified.
I craved romance and passion and every year, it seemed to just pass me by.
I was so fixated on not having romantic love that I had forgotten about the love I did have.
I had forgotten that I was raised by a single mother who has made many sacrifices so that my brothers and I could have a great life.
I had forgotten about my best friend who is always there to talk me off the ledge in the midst of my anxiety and depression.
And most importantly, I had forgotten about the incomparable love of God.
My constant overlooking of these things were far deeper than the effects of social media,movies and television.
It was internal.
I didn’t love myself enough.
I felt like the lack of romantic love made me incomplete.
I wanted someone to love me more than I loved myself.
As I continue to work on myself, I’m learning more and more about my insecurities and where they come from. I ask God daily to cut my insecurities from the roots so that they have no chance of growing back.
I want to love myself so much so that I emanate self worth and exude confidence in every aspect of my life.
It is impossible for another human being to fill a void in your heart.
Love will come when you’re ready for it. Not when you think you’re ready to receive it.
“Try to love yourself as much as you want someone else to.”
Xo,
Shiloh
LSC 