8/5/1991
I can’t believe I’m 26.
I think with every year, every season of your life, there is a lesson.
There’s something that God wants you to learn in order for you to advance to the next step of your journey.
Mine was all about trusting God.
Trusting God when my plans didn’t work out…at all.
Trusting that God will supply all of my needs.
Trusting that God has me right where I need to be, even though it was not where I wanted to be.
Trusting that God will keep His promises.
Trusting that God really does love me.
There were many times this year when I felt like I was losing at life. No matter how hard I tried, how much work and effort I put into things, nothing yielded any results.
I felt like I just kept taking Ls and I would cry out to God begging Him for a win.
Just one win.
It didn’t seem like God cared about me, let alone loved me.
I allowed negative thoughts to consume me so much so that I even toyed with the idea of suicide.
I felt hopeless.
It seemed like there was such a gap between the woman I wanted to be and who I actually was.
I just couldn’t get to her. She seemed so unattainable.
All the while, God was telling me that I was already the woman I desired to be but doubt, fear, depression and anxiety clouded my view of her…of me.
I had to make a decision.
To either continue on believing the lies about me or to trust God that I am who He’s says I am.
I chose God.
And once I did, He began stripping me of all the toxicity I let enter my mind and my heart.
It was a painful process because I had been accustomed to the pain. In ways, I was comforted by it.
But now I’m comforted by God’s love.
I know who I am in Him.
I’ve been transformed.
…In Jesus name.
Xo,
Shiloh
Jumpsuit: Missguided
*All photography was done by Shiloh Devieux
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