*This post was written in 2016*
When you put yourself out there on the internet, you become an easy target. I’ve known that since I began making Youtube videos back in 2014. But in the two years that I’ve been on Youtube, I’ve never received any hateful comments (except people thinking my lips were too big, whatever) but recently, I’ve witnessed first hand how the anonymity of the internet makes people feel like they can say anything.
I posted a Wash n Go video 2 years ago, yes, this video is 2 years old. Anyway, someone found this video and decided to post it on a gossip blog where women who are dealing with anger, insecurities or boredom, take their frustrations out by tearing other people down or “dragging” them.
So, why are people “dragging” me for a hair video posted 2 years ago? Because I described my hair as being a 3c curl pattern and wrote a disclaimer saying that the results from the products used in the video will vary depending on YOUR hair type. And that products enhance your natural curls but can never alter them. Plus, in the video, my hair was heat damaged because of constant straightening so, some thought my results and my claims were misleading.
On one hand, people felt like I wanted my hair to be a 3c curl pattern but it’s really 4a. Mind you, these hair types are right next to each other which means they are pretty similar. I was told by a hairdresser that my hair was 3c so, that’s why I said my hair was 3c. That’s it. And in the description, I kept repeating “3c” not because I was “trying to convince myself” like others have stated but to Search Engine Optimize (SEO) my video.
Now, for those who don’t know what SEO is, its basically different marketing strategies used to boost your online visibility. So by repeating “3c” in the description, I was using SEO to BOOST my video so that if someone searched “3c natural hair” or “wash n go” or “3c wash n go” my video would be in the top searched results.
Other people felt like I was trying to insult the 4b/4c curly community because I stated that “results from the products used in the video will vary depending on YOUR hair type”. I’ve seen so many natural hair youtubers who use the hair typing system so that viewers can identify their own hair and use similar products and techniques as the youtuber. The fact that people think that I think I’m better than those who have a tighter curl pattern are clearly projecting their insecurities onto me.
But what these women were most upset about was the fact that they didn’t like the end results…
Listen, there are millions of hair videos on youtube that are absolutely free. So if you don’t like a video, simply click out of it. Hell, give it a thumbs down if that’ll make you feel better. But to call me ugly, compare me to a man, and say that “I will never amount to anything” over a hair video is excessive.
Most of the comments are from black women. I myself am a black woman which is why I find these comments so problematic.
How is it that some of you think you’re teaching me a lesson by trying (yes, your attempts were unsuccessful) to tear me apart? One of the comments said that the reason they were tearing me down was because they were disciplining me so that I wouldn’t make the same mistake around white people.
What kind of logic?
First off, I don’t believe in the notion of tearing someone down to build them up. Second, white people have no clue what different curl patterns are so, nice try.
It’s unfortunate that because of the popularity of ratchet television (you know the ones I’m talking about) it’s become entertaining to “give someone a good read” or to “drag them to filth” for no reason other than you feel like it or you want a good laugh.
Do women who participate in this kind of behavior forget that the people they’re dragging are real people with real feelings?
What happened to the days of “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?
As black women, we face discrimination Every. Single. Day. Society tries to tell us that we’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough, we’re not desirable etc… So because we face opposition from all sides, you would think that at least we have each other right?
Now, I’m not saying that ALL black women participate in this kind of behavior because I (or the black women I associate with) don’t engage in such foolishness. Plus, there are sites like XoNecole that promote sisterhood among black women. However, I am embarrassed for the one’s who do drag people for their own entertainment.
Thank God I’m comfortable with who I am and my confidence remains intact.
I know there will be some who say “well if you don’t care, why did you take the time out to write about it?” Again, it’s not the insults themselves that bother me, it’s the fact that some black women are relishing in trying to tear another black woman down therefore perpetuating the “crabs in a barrel” mentality.
But I digress…
Remember, God can use what the devil made for evil, for good.